January 14, 2011


Well I jumped on the Outlander bandwagon, and for anyone that has read it, you will appreciate this comment from Goodreads Holly:

How To Commit Adultery Without Being a Cheap Slutty Whore: A Q&A by Diana Gabaldon 

Q: I love my husband but I'm feeling kind of restless. But adultery is wrong. So what do I do? 
A: Easy! Go back in time! 

Q: What do you mean, Ms. Gabaldon? 
A: If you go back in time, your husband hasn't been born yet. So you can have wild and crazy S&M sex with impunity. 

Q: But won't I still be married to him? 
A: Aren't you listening? He hasn't been BORN yet. So you aren't married! But if you are really being such a stickler, then just have someone force you to get married to someone else. 

Q: But, but, no one can force me to get married against my will! 
A: Okay, let me lay it out for you: You're really hot for this sexy warrior barbarian guy, right? I know this, because you stop thinking about your husband about 24 hours after you've been dropped in this guy's arms. So you get in this situation where some obscure tribal law insists you have to get married, make a little protest, sign some papers, and voila! 

Q: But that doesn't mean I have to sleep with him. 
A: Oh but you do, because some random dude insists that you have to. Don't worry, the sex will be great even though he's a 23 year old virgin. So you see, you HAVE to do it, so it's okay. 

Q; But isn't it a sin? 
A: Fine, find a priest at the end of the book to absolve you, whatever. And anyway, it's okay because your husband basically told you it was okay, right before you were whisked back in time. Seriously, go for it. When else will you get the chance? You've been married for years. You deserve a little hot and heavy barbarian action. 

Q: So what's this hot barbarian guy like? 
A: Well, watch out, because he loves to reminisce about how his dad used to beat him and how wonderful that was. And he really gets off on beating you, but it's just the once. Oh, and it seems that he wants you so badly he can't restrain from ramming you repeatedly with his male member while telling you how much he can't restrain himself and that gets seriously annoying after the twentieth time. But otherwise, it's all good. 

Q: Anything else I should be aware of? 
A: Surprise! Buttsex! But not for you, so it's okay. 

Oddly, I'm going to read the next one in the series. Because I'm bizarrely fascinated. It's like a train wreck. 

No comments: